An ex’s presence in one’s dreams might evoke a range of feelings. If you have a vivid dream about your ex, you might feel sad, surprised, or confused. Even the quality of your sleep might be affected by some sorts of dreams.
You are reading: Why You’re Dreaming About Your Ex? What Does it Mean?
An ex’s presence in one’s dreams might evoke a range of feelings. If you have a vivid dream about your ex, you might feel sad, surprised, or confused. Even the quality of your sleep might be affected by some sorts of dreams.
You are reading: Why You’re Dreaming About Your Ex? What Does it Mean?
As a result of dreaming about an ex, one can feel many different emotions. If you experience a vivid dream about your ex, you can feel sad, astonished, or bewildered. It’s possible that certain types of dreams have a negative impact on how well you sleep.
As a result of dreaming about an ex, you may experience various feelings. You may feel upset, astonished, or bewildered if you wake up from a dream in which your ex appears. Depending on the type of dreams you have, it may even have an effect on how well you sleep the next night.
- Sigmund Freud’s psychodynamic theory holds that dreams are a window into the unconscious mind. Dreams, according to Freud, are closely linked to one’s day-to-day experiences and provide the dreamer with valuable information.
- AIM Model: According to this theory, dreams are the brain’s reaction to excessive activity while you sleep. To prepare for real-world interactions, the brain produces a virtual reality model in the form of practice.
- According to this view, dreams are the result of memories being stored in the brain. The outcome is a variety of dreams for each people as they absorb memories. Dreams can include real-life settings and people, but they are not always linked to past experiences.
You may find it difficult to sleep at night if you wake up thinking about your ex. But dreams about an ex might have a variety of meanings. Dreams of this nature have no one, clear-cut meaning.
10 Reasons Why You’re Dreaming About Your Ex
Sleep, in part because it allows us to unwind and daydream, is the most enjoyable activity for the majority of individuals. When you have nightmares about someone you’d like not remember, though, they can be a huge source of anxiety. You’re dreaming about the finest ice cream you’ve ever had, and then…your ex appears? Is there any significance to the fact that you’re having dreams about your ex? Is this a hint that you want to get back together? It’s not always the case.
It’s only natural to question why you’re having these dreams, and your curiosity is likely to be heightened if an unexpected person appears. However, even if you’re in a new relationship or feel like you’ve completely moved on from your previous one, you’re not alone if you see a few ex-lovers in your dreams.
One in five people have had a dream about an ex at some point in their lives. It’s possible that one or more of these reasons could explain why your brain keeps bringing up a specific person when you’re asleep.
1. You have unresolved feelings toward your ex.
Remember that these feelings don’t necessarily have to be romantic ones before you freak out too much about this one. An ex-love interest in your dreams could be a sign that you’re looking for closure, according to relationship expert Terri Orbuch. It’s possible that you’re still processing how your relationship ended in your head, or that you’re still upset about how things ended between the two of you.
2. You’re worried about being successful in a new relationship.
Psychic Ally Mead tells the Huffington Post that if you dream about your ex while in a new relationship, you’re probably comparing the two in an effort to make sure that this time, things work out better. “Your subconscious may still be attempting to sift out the pluses and minuses of your past relationship if you’re heading into a new relationship,” Mead said. When it comes to a new relationship, “your psyche is working hard to ensure its success”
3. It’s a symbol of a bigger problem.
As Mead put it: “Most of the time, however, dreams are not literal.” The greatest way to deal with your emotions is to focus on repairing the damage done to you by your exes in the first place.”
Think on how and why your relationship ended and what you could have done differently if you’re having dreams about your ex. Resolving the issue and avoiding it in future relationships could put an end to these fantasies, regardless of whether it was your fault or not.
4. You’re actually not over them.
However, even if there are many other reasons why you’re dreaming about your ex, this is still a viable alternative. There’s a good chance you’ll need to dig deep inside yourself to see if you really do want to get back together… and then determine the next step.
5. It’s not about your ex, it’s about you.
It’s possible that a former lover in a dream signifies a part of yourself, according to Psychics Universe. Maybe you gave up too much of yourself and what you love in your last relationship, and it’s time to reclaim it. Alternatively, it could be a sign that you’re ignoring yourself in some way. What matters is that you examine your own actions while you were dating your ex to see if there are any glaring flaws.
6. You’re afraid someone else will hurt you again.
As a result, many people find it difficult to move on from an old relationship because they fear they’ll be harmed in the same way again. If you’ve been seeing your ex in your dreams, this could be the reason. According to Exemplore, the dream could be a sign that a new relationship is headed in the same direction as your previous one. Either you need to modify the path of the relationship or you still haven’t had complete emotional closure, depending on the circumstances.
7. The ex in your dream is actually you, breaking up with yourself.
Exes in dreams can represent a wide variety of things, as you’ve probably gathered by now. For example, it may be your mind informing you that you’re suppressing a different side of yourself — presumably the opposite side of yourself — and that it’s time to reconnect with your true self.
If you take this dream as a sign that you should get back together with your ex, you’ll simply make things more difficult for yourself in the long run, according to the website. As stated by the interpreter, “This dream is sending you a message that your focus should be on improving the relationship you have with yourself at this time, rather than diverting it to other relationships.”
8. You’re trying to forgive them after a bad breakup.
It’s possible that the dream is your brain’s way of giving you a second chance at forgiveness if things between you and the other person didn’t go well. Dreamstop interprets it as a sign that you need to mend fences with your former partner. You’d like to put an end to the nightmares, don’t you? When you’re awake and aware, forgiving your ex may be all it takes.
9. You miss parts of your life with them.
This could indicate that there’s something about your previous relationship that you’d like to get back, according to the Dreammoods Dream Dictionary. But the missing element isn’t necessarily the person; it could be where you lived, something you did together, or a place you used to visit frequently during that time of your life.
10. Something in your life is making you unhappy.
An ex in your dream may represent something else in your life you need to “part up with” in order to properly move on, according to Dreammoods. It’s a good idea to modify anything that you know is holding you back, even if it’s just for a little while.
When you have a dream about an ex, it can signify a lot of different things. The best way to figure out what the dream is trying to tell you is to search within. There is a good chance that you already know all of the answers you’re searching for.
It usually relates to one of these underlying issues
Loewenberg believes that while every dream about an ex is unique, it often boils down to the following:
- a feeling of disappointment in oneself
- a feeling of sexual emptiness
- unresolved feelings about the ex or that breakup
- settled resentments stemming from the separation
Exploring specific dream scenarios
It’s not uncommon for me to wake up with a seemingly endless stream of bizarre dreams, some of which are frightening, others lovely, and yet still others violent. We’ll focus on the most prevalent ones here.
If it’s a long-ago ex
According to Loewenberg, “dreaming about a long-ago ex—especially an early love—is quite common.” Love without fear or reservation is symbolized by an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.
Having these kinds of nightmares is your subconscious mind’s way of saying, “I want more spice in my life.”
If it’s a recent ex
In the beginning, it may appear as if your mind is working against you in order to sabotage your efforts to move on from this individual.
“Your subconscious is actually trying to help you recover and understand how you’re feeling about the breakup,” explains Loewenberg. Loewenberg:
If they were abusive
Malina notes that a frequent trauma response is to dream about an abusive or poisonous ex (think: physically or mentally abusive, serial cheater, etc.).
Loewenberg says that if you’re having nightmares about an abusive past, it’s probably because you’re still trying to figure out WHY it happened.
It’s possible that the dream is a metaphor for the self-punishment you’re inflicting on yourself by obsessively thinking about this connection.
If you miss them or they miss you
Is there anything missing in your life that your ex had that you don’t have now? Schedule a Zoom date with a friend who is as funny as your ex.
Which of your strengths was honed by your former partner? That means you don’t need your ex’s support to go to those resources.
If you want them back or they want you back
Again, reflect on the characteristics of your ex that you admired or wished you could bring back into your life if you could!
If someone is apologizing
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Your ex apologizes to you in your dream — he or she is sorry in real life, too!
Instead, it’s your imagination conjuring up a scene in which your ex said exactly what you hoped they had.
Why are you apologizing if you are the one who caused the offense? There’s a good chance you’ve lately done or said something you’d like to take back. Your first attempt to make apologies is what we call the dream.
If someone’s confronting the other about past wrongs
Loewenberg explains that if you have a dream about confronting someone, you are confronting the part of yourself that was wounded by that person.
“It’s a method for you to gently come to terms with the ways in which you were hurt.”
If you’re getting back together
If your ex comes crawling back, now is the moment to dig deep and figure out if you really want to be with her again.
Remember why you and your ex-partner broke up in the first place if you’d like to get back together. These were probably some very solid reasons! Therapists or protective BFFs can be quite useful in this situation.
If, on the other hand, you have zero interest in your ex in your waking life, the dream is a sign that you have come to terms with the relationship and learnt the lessons you needed to learn from it. Exciting!
If you’re falling in love again
Loewenberg says it suggests that you’re yearning to feel cared for and loved right now. A pretty freakin’ understandable want in the middle of a pandemic, no?
If you’re getting physical
The implication, according to Loewenberg, is that you’re desperate to be loved and cared for right now. An understandable desire in the middle of a pandemic, don’t you think?
The implication, according to Loewenberg, is that you’re desiring to be loved and cared for at the moment. What a reasonable desire in the midst of a pandemic, don’t you think?
When a couple has a child together, Loewenberg explains, “It’s not about the sex or kissing; it’s about connecting for the child’s sake.” It’s great to hear that!
If you have a kid together
Pregnancy tests aren’t ready yet!
In dreams, children are a symbol of hope and new beginnings. It is likely that in this dream your ex is allowing you to give birth to a new you.
If you’re fighting
There is a current dispute in your life, according to Loewenberg.
Given that we’re all going through major routine upheaval right now, this is normal.
If someone’s cheating on the other
Given that we’re all going through major routine upheaval right now, this is normal.
Given that we’re all going through tremendous routine change right now, this is typical.
Because we’re all going through a huge shift in our daily routine, this is quite natural.
If you break up all over again
Was the split recent? Let yourself off the hook a little bit! You’re still processing.
If they’re in a new relationship
Do you know how long ago the break occurred? Do not be too hard on yourself! In the midst of it all, you’re still taking things in.
Time for you to get on the bandwagon as well!
If they’re in danger
Whether or whether you’re trying to save them is a matter of perspective.
To play the role of heroic knight in shining armor, it is possible that you will have learned something from the relationship.
For example, did your ex make you more outgoing? You’re getting a nudge from your subconscious to get out there and meet new people.
Instead of saving them, you’re saying goodbye to them since you didn’t make an effort to save the relationship. Buh-bye!
If they died
Congrats! Having this dream indicates that you are ready to move on from the past.
If they kill you
Murder necessitates death. Make a list of things you’d like to receive back from your ex, and see if you can find them.
For instance, you might say:
- confidence
- trustworthiness
- self-awareness
If you kill them
Until we meet again, sweetheart! If you’re having this dream, it’s probably because you’ve dealt with any remaining sentiments of resentment toward your ex.
You may still harbor feelings of wrath and hurt toward your ex, and this dream could be a sign that you need to go through those feelings.
Exploring pandemic-specific dream scenarios
Seeing an ex in real life is usually a nightmare… So why are they showing up in your coronavirus-themed dreams now that you have no opportunity of seeing them? Let’s see what we can find out.
If you’re single and dreaming about them
You don’t miss your former lover. You’re missing out on all the fun of interacting with real people! The joy of being adored. And hugs and kisses, of course!
This ex’s great characteristics should be reflected upon, but not for too long, advises Loewenberg.
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Once this *gestures around* is over, your subconscious may be compiling a wish list of attributes you’re looking for in a spouse.
If you’re in a relationship but isolating alone and dreaming about them
In your lucid dream, how did your ex make you feel? Are you seductive, cherished, pampered, or unique?
Time to plan a digital date night with bae. Your subconscious is telling you that you’re feeling a little neglected right now.
If you’re isolating with a current partner and dreaming about them
It’s high time for a virtual date night with your sweetie. As a result of this, your subconscious is trying to get your attention.
Chances are if it’s anything good, it hasn’t made you feel that way in a minuteee since your previous bae did.
“Relationships often feel stale now that individuals are together 24/7,” adds Barr.
She advises reviving the romance in your relationship by planning sexy dates and hanky panky.
If you dream that they develop COVID-19
Because of this, Loewenberg believes that your subconscious is utilizing the virus as a metaphor to show you that you still need to work through some ickiness from your past.
That’s right, your ex is the virus.
It’s possible that something in one of your present relationships (romantic and/or sexual, or not) is making you feel uneasy, according to Loewenberg.
What’s the state of your relationship? Is it possible that you’re overlooking each other? That will put an end to the dream if you can solve it.
So… when are these dreams a red flag?
The findings of Barr and Loewenberg are in agreement:
- when it becomes a regular occurrence (read: nightly or bi-nightly)
- if you wake up in a bad mood and can’t shake it, you should see a doctor
- whether or whether these dreams are based on real-life desires
What if you’re in a relationship — should you tell your partner?
Barr and Loewenberg believe that telling your present beau that your ex-boo is chilling in your subconscious is more harmful than helpful when it comes to communicating in partnerships.
According to Loewenberg, “it’s likely going to make your partner uneasy and jealous, without giving you or them anything,”.
The director and sexuality therapist of The Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in New York City, Jesse Kahn, believes that “there are no’shoulds’ when it comes to partnerships.”
The following questions can help you determine what’s best for you and your partner:
- Is it something you wish to share with your spouse? If yes, why?
- There may be implications for you and your relationship if you notify your partner about the situation.
- Do you have any concerns regarding the long-term effects?
How to talk about it
Is it okay to tell your lover about the specifics of your dreams? Probably not, but it’s possible.
As Barr points out, our associates, on the other hand, have a keen sense of humor. It’s possible that your significant other has noticed whether these dreams are causing you distress, distress, or even haunting you.
As a result of this, Barr recommends telling your partner that you’ve been experiencing some unsettling nightmares.
For instance:
- As you may have guessed, I’ve recently been on a roll in my own mind. It’s because I’ve started having strange nightmares in which I see scenes from my past. Nevertheless, I’m here, I love you, and you needn’t be concerned about anything.”
- “You’re right, I have been in a weird mood. My dreams have been really disturbing recently, and they’ve been haunting my waking hours. I promise to let you know if I want to talk about it further.”
How to address the underlying issue
“You’re right, I have been in a weird mood. My dreams have been really disturbing recently, and they’ve been haunting my waking hours. I promise to let you know if I want to talk about it further.”
It’s true that I’ve been in an odd mood recently. I’ve been plagued with strange dreams lately, and they’ve kept me awake at night. Let me know if there’s anything else you’d like to discuss.
- unease in a present romantic relationship
- feeling dissatisfied with one’s present situation
- that you’ve put the past behind you
- the fact that you’re prepared to let go of the past
It all comes down to the core problem and what your next step should be.
Barr, on the other hand, highly suggests contacting a teletherapist.
To put it another way, they’ll be able to help you figure out why these dreams are happening and devise a strategy to put an end to them.
What to Do When You Dream About an Ex and You’re in a Relationship
There are several reasons why people have dreams about their ex. Self-image, anxieties, insecurities, strengths, lofty ideals, and sexual orientation are just a few of the many topics that might come up in dreams. 3 The fact that you’re feeling this way does not mean that your relationship is in peril. Always be open and honest with your partner about anything that could have an effect on your emotional well-being. As a result, they can gain a better understanding of particular actions and gain insight.
Even if you dream about an ex, it doesn’t mean you want to get back together, thus talking about your dreams with your current spouse might help you become more aware of your own emotions and thoughts.. We may dream of things we don’t have but wish we did, or of problems we’d rather not have had to deal with in our waking lives altogether. 4 It’s possible that having an honest conversation with your existing spouse will help you become more conscious of your thoughts and feelings.
How to Interpret Dreams About an Ex
Keeping a dream journal is a great way to discover the significance of your dreams. The first thing you should do after waking up is to jot down your dreams. For those who have recurring nightmares of seeing their ex in their sleep, it is possible to discern patterns in their dreams.
Consider jotting down the feelings you had in your dreams and the responses you had to those feelings in the waking world. If you’re having trouble figuring out if your dream is about your ex or something else, try jotting down your thoughts and feelings about it. You can try lucid dreaming if you wish to be more conscious of the fact that you’re dreaming. It’s possible that lucid dreaming can give you a better understanding of how you’re feeling in the dream itself.
As an alternative, you may wish to seek the advice of an experienced psychotherapist. These people may be able to offer advice on how best to deal with the meaning of your dreams and how to go ahead.
When to Seek Professional Help
If your nightmares are interfering with your day-to-day life, it’s time to seek professional help. If you’re experiencing symptoms like anxiety, insomnia, mood swings, or any other changes in your mental state, you should visit a mental health expert like a therapist. Although finding a therapist can be difficult, you can get a head start by searching an online directory. Use this link to identify a therapist who can answer your questions and help you move forward with therapy.
The bottom line
Whether or whether there is a global pandemic, it is quite typical to dream about an ex. In addition, it isn’t always a result of your break-up.
What you do in response to the dreams is influenced by their underlying meaning. However, if you truly want to put an end to the fantasy, you must first address the source of the problem.
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Category: Sleep Advisors
